NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT? IS A FIXABLE PROBLEM
Not getting what you want? It’s probably one of the most frustrating things, leading to not just sleepless nights, but feelings of inadequacy. So, what do you do to ‘fix’ it?
Most people take the issue at personally and start trying to change who they are. Tinkering with new self-help “techniques” that certifiably argue that they will give you results if... you just drink “their cool-aid.”
But, in reality you’ve misdiagnosed and consequently their “cool-aid” becomes nothing but a botched treatment plan that will create additional frustration. What happens next, you give up. All because you are trying too hard and doing all the wrong things. At no fault of your own.
To get what you want it’s not about fixing or looking. It’s about creating a purpose towards “why” you do what you do. A love story between you and a dream.
Not getting what you want is none other than a sign that you’re focusing on everything other than your 'why.' The thing that makes your heart skip a beat. The thing that makes you feel amazing. Yes, the blue ribbon makes you feel amazing, but your 'why' is more than that. It’s bigger than the blue ribbon. A blue ribbon, well that’s just collateral that you get to enjoy along the journey.
Your 'why' is your life love story.
Why is that you want what you want in this one life that you have?
YOUR ‘WHY’ IS A DREAM THAT GETS YOU ON THE RIGHT FREQUENCY
At the core of it all, if you are not getting the results you want, it’s none other than that you are on the wrong frequency. And if you are on the wrong frequency, you just need to change frequencies like you would from one song to the next on your Playlist. It’s that simple. It’s not meant to be devastating and require this whole makeover. Although, sometimes a makeover is warranted, but only and only then when it doesn’t feel like an exhausting endeavor but a necessity.
But, I digress and need to clarify. Your 'why' is simply your biggest desire/dream. Simon Sinek wrote a whole book about your 'why.' I am not writing this, because I read it and it’s good, but because I’ve noticed people just don’t get why they need a 'why.' They go through life on automatic and then they wonder why they feel empty or are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, depression, and/or not getting the results they want with their horses or in the arena.
You might be that one person, that believes you feel a ‘why’ is a ridiculous story we tell ourselves to feel better or nothing more than a crooked letter from the alphabet (Y).
You are right. It is. It can be. If that’s what you want it to be.
TAKE A PAGE FROM AN ELITE ATHLETE’S PLAYBOOK
High performers whether they are elite athletes, entrepreneurs, and artists, ultimately are the ones we admire so much, because they overcome the unthinkable. And their “overnight success” stuns us into believing they had this magical “it” factor that helped them land their success without much effort. There is no “overnight success!” It does not exist. They’ve just been quietly working towards their ‘why' incognito. They persevered instead of giving up, more times than we will ever know, without the audience.
They own their ‘why’ like no one else does or can. Not to say, they don’t put effort into manifesting their ‘why,’ but the thought of their ‘why’ feels effortless. It is effortless, because it is their truth, their joy, their dream.
And that is why it’s incredible to be in their presence. The energy they receive from their ‘why,’ is felt by everyone because it is that insanely amazing and addicting. It gives them the “extra” we all crave. They manifest swoon worthy accomplishments, because of this dedication.
They are the authors of their dream life love stories.
We can have this too. All of us, there is no requirement other than figuring out what truly and deeply gets your heart going. Disconcertingly though, few people have a ‘why.’ At the crux of it all, when you don't know why your heart sings or your ‘why/y,’ it will be a struggle to achieve results you dream of.
Let’s be clear. You will achieve results. But, there is a significance difference in quality of results. And achieving those that truly give you that magical “it” feeling.
YOUR WHY DOES NOT HAVE TO BE ABOUT “WORLD PEACE”
But let’s make something super clear, your ‘why’ does not have to be this incredibly amazing swoon worthy ‘why’ to be worthy. World Peace or making a million dollars or winning the Olympics is great, but honestly what is even better is simply “having fun.” (Which everyone downplays the significance of.)
I am an advocate for non-fancy and clear. The clearer it is, the easier it is to manifest achievements. It can be as simple as..scratch that, I’m not going to give you examples.
Your ‘why’ comes from your heart, a feeling. It doesn’t come from your brain, the cerebral cortex. It’s a moment/thought/feeling that feels like electricity.
Like I said before, you absolutely can get results without having a definitive ‘why.’ We all do and have. You just won’t necessarily get the results after you’ve reached a certain point/level that requires elevated levels of skill. Also, having a solid ‘why’ will be the key difference between giving up or not giving up.
All you need to truly understand about your ‘why’ is that the more authentic it is- the better, and that even if you can’t voice it yet, who cares, as long as you are searching for that moment of electricity. This isn’t about putting pressure on yourself to come up with a ‘why,’ so that all your problems go away. It doesn’t work that way.
Your ‘why’ doesn’t take away the problem of not achieving the results you want, it just makes the problems less of a problem, so that there is room for you to elevate
into your potential.
WHY YOU’RE NOT GETTING RESULTS
So, now that we have a case for finding your ‘why,’ there is another key element to the issue of why you’re not getting the results you want. When you have a ‘why’ you have a purpose/goal/dream. Right? And the simpler it is, the clearer your goals are. And if something is clear it is easier to obtain, because the complication of it all is taken out of the equation, which focuses your energy. And when energy is directed, you don’t waste it.
And when you are focused, you know what you want and what you don’t want. So you start manifesting results, because you begin to pick and choose from life what does or does not serve your ‘why.’ And when that happens, beautiful and magical manifestations start landing in your lap. And that is because ultimately, you’ve written the results you so desire into your ‘why,’ into your story.
If the results aren’t written into your life story, then how do you
take steps to move in the direction of your results?
It’s not even about how, but also about why, why would you attempt to achieve those results/goals/dreams when they aren’t written into your story? And if they aren’t written into your story, you’re not dreaming about them. And if you are not dreaming about them, then you are not visualizing them. And if you are not visualizing them, then your brain is not firing those chemicals and changing its’ physical structure and function to support that dream.
WHY EVERYONE ELSE IS GIVING UP TOO SOON AND YOU'RE NOT
Where everyone trips up when pursuing their ‘why’, is not allowing for space for trial and errors. Instead, you fall back into expectations and need for evidence to assure you that your ‘why’ is happening and worthy. But what you don’t realize is that you can’t use the same material evidence or expectations that you use historically in your life. It is quite simple actually: stay curious. Stay open to opportunities via your curiosity. Curiosity is a powerhouse in assisting to manifest results, while expectations squash them.
Also, if you are still not convinced, let me tell you this: 99.9% of the time your expectations are a direct reflection of a ceiling that you (at this specific point in time) believe you can achieve. And because we underestimate ourselves, your ceiling is guaranteed to be set lower than your truest potential.
While curiosity, sets no ceiling and consequently allows you to achieve
more than you could ever imagine.
THE IRONY IN ‘Y’
Sometimes, life is ironic in how it reveals our ‘why’ to us. We get so complacent with the “daily’s” because our brain reacts automatically to them. And when we begin to exhibit a behavior as a “habit,” (there is an amazing book about this!) our brain turns off. It stops functioning all together. 50% of what you do in a day is a “habit.” That means your brain turns off for most of what you do. By turn off, it literally does not activate itself. And when it is on autopilot your habit is the power behind your ‘why,’ not you and consequently you're not living life from your ‘why’ that would be your dream life.
The question then becomes, are you willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable to own the power of your ‘why?’
There is absolutely no judgment if you don’t, because it does require effort’ing. But, the effort’ing is really beautiful when YOU want to experience certain results.
Your brain is your secret power to creating the life you dream. And not just the life, but results.
And when we dream, when we visualize, our brains don’t know if it is happening in real time or not. It doesn’t know visualization from reality. When we dream and visualize, we fire the neurons/chemicals in our bodies and brains to create that ‘why.’ And if your body and brain is producing the chemicals related to that ‘why’, then you are going to start behaving as if that were the case.
You begin to manifest that 'why’ of yours, because unconsciously you’ve already started walking in that direction. The only reason a ‘why’ becomes a reality in your life, is when your heart is invested.